Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.
I'll just say it...I am a perfect mother.
I'm just being honest.
So perfect, in fact, that I would never GIVE UP fighting my 11-month-old daughter's endless pursuit to TASTE all parts of the shopping cart. So far, I think she savors the carts at "the Wal-mart" (Jonathan, that is for you!) most.
As a perfect mother, I would never laugh hysterically at my husband while my almost-3-year-old son jumps on our bed completely naked, and keeps sitting his naked bum on my husband's pillow. That would be uncivilized and unrefined. Even if he did just have a bath and had a squeaky clean bum!
And finally, as any perfect mother knows, part of perfection is never being passive aggressive. So I would absolutely never decide to drive to Cracker Barrel and order a piece of their Coca-Cola Cake with ice cream (by the way, worth. every. last. mile.) to-go, drive back home, and split it with my husband IN FRONT of our son, just so he would really regret not eating his dinner that night. I am not petty like that. I am perfect.